3. "I'm a late-bloomer (raised to be straight, assumed I was straight, forced myself to ignore all other urges/desires towards other women, etc.), and my husband of two-plus years has been unbelievably sweet and supportive since I've come out to him (it's been about three months now). There have been rough days, for sure...hell, rough weeks, but for now, we're far too happy with the life we have together to consider getting divorced."
"And I've discovered that there is a lot more to love than attraction. Yes, I prefer women, and if I were single, I'd be with women exclusively, but I seriously can't imagine my life without my husband by my side. I hope that everyone else in this same situation, whether you stay together or not, finds true happiness — you all deserve it. :)"
6. "I am gay, and I married someone when I knew who I was. I grew up in a small town in Texas with a very conservative dad and a mom who expected her son to marry, buy a house with a white picket fence, and to have the 2.5 kids like everyone else did. There was a lot of pressure. I couldn't come out, didn't have the strength. I was young, and I'd get killed in that little town. I didn't know anyone who was gay and I felt trapped. So, I dated this girl and we were quite the couple. Well, at least I knew how to play the part."
"I really got to enjoy her company over time, and we became really close — not in-the-bedroom close, but good friends close. She was pretty, smart, and loving. I also thought this would be a short relationship, but it lasted longer than I thought. I had no plan and no idea what to do to get out of it. Feeling the pressure from my parents and hers, I eventually asked her to marry. I didn't know what else to do.
It was terrifying. I couldn't see my future past the current day. Sex was atrocious. I had become the expert on giving every excuse in the book as to why I couldn't or didn't want to. It started weighing heavily on her, but she never became suspicious. She assumed something was wrong with her and it really started to affect her. I felt like an asshole.
One night, after three years of being married, she asked for intimacy, and I gave my 1,092nd excuse as to why I didn't want to. That was it. She had cried before, but this time, she couldn't stop. Crying uncontrollably. Thinking she was the problem. God, it was terrible. I couldn't take it anymore and at 4 in the morning that night I came out to her. It all made sense to her, and I literally watched the weight of the world lift from her shoulders. It was the best night and worst night of my life. I came out, but I was going to lose my best friend.
We separated and eventually got a divorce. I wanted to make sure she was going to be okay and paid for her therapy and paid all of her debt off. I felt like I owed her a lot. Fast forward 10 years later, and she and I are good friends. We can talk about the days past, and she holds no grudge. She remarried, had some kids, and is really enjoying life. I, too, found a partner and am very happy and feel liberated. Looking back, had I been strong enough to come out, none of that would have happened. But things happen for a reason, I believe. I have the utmost admiration for those who come out early and aren't afraid to be who they are. I am very proud of who I am, but I wish I could have enjoyed that aspect of my life earlier had I come out. But I did gain a friend in the whole process and wouldn't change that for the world."
8. "My ex-husband is gay, and yes, I knew. It was a difficult situation because he was really deeply in the closet and would not admit that he was gay, even to himself. He kept saying that he was bisexual, but his gay p*rn collection grew, and our sex life died. We were together for 10 years. Since he wouldn't admit it, I wasn't able to confide in my friends about the issues I was having with his sexuality and get advice. When I finally asked for a divorce, some of our friends were assholes to me about it because no one knew he was gay."
"He eventually wound up coming to terms with being gay, met a nice guy, and bought a house and some yappy dogs. His parents are really uncomfortable with his orientation, but his partner's parents have been extremely welcoming. We are still good friends and talk often. I try not to dwell on all the time I wasted in the relationship by keeping in mind that it's what led me to meet the guy I'm married to now."
11. "My uncle (mom's brother) was married to a woman for 10-plus years and had two kids with her. However, when they got married, he told her that he was attracted to men as well as women. After, however many years of marriage, he decided that he wasn't bi, and that, in fact, he was gay. He left her, and although they still communicate, he has a new partner and is happier and kinder than he ever was before coming out."
12. "I was married to a guy for eight years, but things just didn't work out. I married him because I thought it was the right thing to do, he was a friend I thought that would be enough. But apparently, sexual attraction is actually important, whodathunkit? I think I would have been able to put up with his quirks if I'd actually fancied him."
"The cracks started to show fairly soon after our wedding, but I stuck it out for another seven years. Then we had couples therapy, and when that didn't work, we split. It was all one-sided, which made me feel incredibly guilty.
Anyway, I met a woman. We've been together for eight years and married for four. It's awesome, I'm all, "Sothisis what marriage is supposed to be like!"
